Today I’m in a good space…mentally and emotionally. I woke up relatively early this morning [6:45 am]. I was able to clean my bathroom [except that damn shower door!], wash/condition my hair and straighten my bedroom before I left for work this morning. All of this may seem insignificant to most people. BUT for me, doing these few things this morning was a MAJOR accomplishment because as my friends/family will tell you…I’M NOT AN EARLY RISER.
I also feel energized and focused as I prepare for the next chapter of my life and my son’s life. He leaves for college tomorrow and will be about 650 miles away from home. He’s my first-born child and it’s just been the two of us since he was 2 1/2 years old.
It’s a truly a bitter-sweet experience to have your child leave the nest and spread their wings. On one side, you’re excited to see them grow up and move on to the next phase of their life. But then on the other side, you’re nervous because you know the road ahead won’t be easy for them. As a mother, you want to be there to guide their every move, but now you have to TRUST that you’ve taught them enough about the world so that they will know how to make good decisions.
After I drop him off to college and head back home, I’m also wondering what my life will be like when I return to the house totally alone. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited that I will now have the opportunity to “re-explore” that “single-girl-life” that I put on hold for the majority of the time while I raised my son. BUT I’m also a little fearful about all of those “lonely moments” that tend to cause me to slip into those “depression spells” that I’ve been having lately.
I’m optimistic that I will get through it all. I’m just thankful that I’ve become MORE AWARE of what I’m feeling and WHAT I NEED to become a BETTER ME because 2010 is the year to put ME first!